___________________________________________________________
John Eldredge speaks at length on this in Fathered by God and I highly highly suggest several of his books, but most of all this one.
We were talking in our Men’s Accountability Meeting last Monday night about a comment made a men’s retreat we attended back in May. Where many have said that the pinnacle of all relationships the speaker said this, “There is no deeper relationship in this universe than the relationship between Father and Son.” I’m sure that the speaker would have said the same between Mother and Daughter had this been at a women’s retreat.
I was talking to the guys and I actually admitted, “I don’t know if I agree with this, I mean what about a husband and a wife? But when you think about it, there has to be something divine about a Father and Son relationship because that is the name that Jesus gave us about His relationship with God the Father.” The divine actually chose to give us a picture of His relationship and it was that of a Father to a Son. We have to stop and think about that because there has to be something there that we really don’t understand. The Bible bases so much of the identity of the men off of who’s son they were: “David, the son of Jesse,” “Joshua son of Nun,” “Jesus, the son of God.” There is a depth here.
So we started to discuss why it was deeper than other relationships and this is what we found: a father can relate to his son more than any other person on Earth. Why? The very blood that runs through the veins of the son comes from the chromosomes of the father and biologically the son is more like his father than any other person on the planet. So there is a good chance that in the events of life the father and son will be able to relate to each other and in moments that validation is needed the father can validate no one else, because he has probably already been there and can affirm the son of a job well done.
This does not mean that sons will respond the same way that their fathers did, because unfortunately some sons have bad fathers. I do not believe that my dad or my mom were bad parents and for that I am very very thankful (thank you mom and dad), but if you did not have a good father, you can know that you are not your father, but you do have a Heavenly Father who knows you better than you know yourself and can affirm and validate you like no one else can.
From the divine perspective think of the depth of relationship Jesus has with God the Father. God the Father says, “I have a plan so that we can bring creation back into right standing with us (turns to His Son). Jesus will you die so that mankind will be brought back to us?” Jesus without hesitation, but probably through gritted teeth, says, “Yes.”
Can you turn to your son, brother, or friend and say, “Will you die so that I can get married?” No! Why? Because your relationship is not the divine relationship that God has with Himself, but He is trying to show us in a very tiny way what His relationship is like.
Then I went to Hebrew class for the week and we studied the word Elohim, the first name of God in the Bible. The root of that word is “El.” The two letters that make up this word are “Alef” and “Lamed.” “Alef” has an ancient Hebrew meaning: an ox head symbolizing authority and strength. “Lamed” also has an ancient Hebrew meaning: a shepherd’s prodding staff. When you put the two together it actually symbolizes an event where a farmer would yoke two different oxen together, specifically a new ox that was young and needy, untrained and weak, not knowing how to plow to an older ox that was strong and powerful, knowing exactly what to do. God the son is not the lesser ox, we are. God tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us, because He decided to be yoked to us and bring us through life through His power and His Fathering. He is our Daddy and He chooses to use life’s events to raise us up, healing broken places in our hearts.
I am not trying to take away from the mystery of marriage because that’s a whole other picture for us of what our relationship with Jesus is and that is absolutely glorious as well, but sometimes we really really need a Dad who is perfectly strong, perfectly knowledgable, perfectly approachable, and perfectly with us all the time.
___________________________________________________________
Everything in the Old Testament points toward the New Testament. The story of the Red Sea is all about Jesus!!! When you realize that the Jews had been slaves for 400 years, taking on the identity of slaves. Living like slaves, talking like slaves, eating what slaves eat, walking around hunkered over like slaves, and sleeping where slaves sleep. They believed they were slaves after 400 years of this, and the generation that was raised up in that moment had never known any different.
"But then God..."
You could stop there, but I want to unpack that statement because not everybody believes in the utter good character and beautiful determination of a perfect Lover. So here is what happened, He shows up in shock and awe. No one knew who the God of Israel was at that point and most certainly they didn’t know He had real power... Not even the slaves who claimed Him. So God brings the ten plagues and wipes the floor with each one of the Egyptians gods in descending order. He proves that all of Egypt's gods were beneath His feet (if even that). So we know that the Egyptians were shocked to have all their gods dethroned, but I'll wager that the slaves were gawking the whole time too. Why? Because they hadn't ever seen the shock and awe of an Amazing Lover like this before and they often grumbled to Moses in disbelief waiting for this God who they hardly knew to fail.
Then it crescendos with the culmination of the ten plagues and pharaoh concedes to let the slaves go free... But changes his mind. So he goes after the slaves and catches up to them on the shores of the Red Sea. Pharaoh has them cornered, and what are slaves going to do against the might of the most powerful army on the earth at that time? Sure the gods may have failed Pharaoh, but he was the god of gods to the Egyptians and now he had come to this ridiculous Lover who had conquered the lesser members of the divine court of Egypt and now Pharaoh had arrived. The god incarnate would now move mightily with politics, machines of war, and the strength of his own arm to shake heaven and earth to take back these insignificant slaves of his from a rogue invisible Romantic God who had somehow missed the memo to submit to the divine court of Egypt.
So now the real battle lines were drawn, Pharaoh versus the God of the Hebrews.
What was the outcome? The ridiculous rogue Lover came and made a way for His love to escape away with Him and what did He do to the pursuers? He put them to open shame for all the nations to hear of this ridiculous Lover and His love for His people. Why did He do all this? Exodus 29:45 says that He did so, so He could, “reside [or live with/dwell] among the Israelites, and (so He could) be their God.” Just so He could be with them.
When Christ came, He came with shock and awe as He did before, performing miracles, healing the sick, and wiping the floor with the traditional gods of His era. The gods of dead religion and piety. Christ came as the amazing Savior we all needed Him to be. Why did He come performing shock and awe? Because He is still that rogue Lover of man kind. He is the perfect Lover, but that’s another thought for another blog someday.
So He culminates all of His shock and awe to His beloved who were also slaves; slaves to sin, with one action. For we too were “once alienated from God…” living as utensils of destruction and deceit, not knowing right from wrong because we ourselves tried to define right and wrong. Eating from the same tree that our first father and mother ate: the knowledge of good and evil, or in other words we refuted rather than trusted the good character of God and tried to determine what was right and wrong for ourselves. The first sin. So we lived in our own way saying, “Hey what’s right for me is right for me and what’s right for you is right for you,” slaves to our undefined world with no absolutes to free us from a maddening scramble for meaning and purpose. We walked like slaves, ate like slaves, and lived like slaves to sin.
So the one action that culminated the Savior’s shock and awe was far beyond the Red Sea’s scope. God died for mankind.
God died.
God CHOSE TO DIE so that we might live.
And what does He do after His crescendo? He gives us a new identity. What did God do after the Red Sea? He gives all of Israel a new identity in the book of Exodus and Numbers. He tells them that they are warriors, priests, men and women set apart for His relationship with them. He numbers every single one of them! Why? BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM NEEDED TO KNOW THAT THEY WERE NOT A SLAVE ANY MORE.
This is what Christ has done with the slaves to sin, He has given us a new identity as sons and daughters, coheirs with Christ not only in is dying, but in the fact that we are more than conquerors with Christ.
___________________________________________________________
I was struck by a very profound statement as I sat in at GodFirst Church yesterday, "There are two kinds of creation in the Word of God. The first one cost God absolutely nothing. He spoke. The second cost God everything. He died to make us all new creations."
How incredible, how absolutely incredible that God as an amazing lover would throw in everything with us the moment He created us, though it didn't cost Him ANYTHING! He fell in love with us and dedicated Himself to us whole heartedly. Then sin enters the picture and He is faced with a decision. He could have scrapped all of creation and just simply spoke again to recreate everything, probably even better and more beautiful, but He didn't. It's like He went the completely opposite direction of His first action in that He made the determination that was over the top, out of the park, way beyond belief, because this time the cost was beyond ludicrous and completely extravagant: the death of God, the Son.
It's like the couple that falls head over heels in love with one another and hardly does anything for their relationship, but seriously coasts to marriage, then are confronted with the hardships of life and there is a rebirth that needs to take place. Each of them needs to become a new creation and it requires and exacts everything from them. They find a resolution that the Father found, “I love you when it’s easy, and I choose to sacrifice in order to be with you when it is beyond hard.” The couple goes from a euphoric honeymoon-esque love to “a love that is stronger than death,” because in it the “I” has to die and it gives rise to the most beautiful of pronouns, “us.” Through it the latter creation is so much more beautiful and wonderful than the first understanding that the second love is born from tears, self-sacrifice, and commitment to love the other no matter what.
Christ is amazing lover, a ridiculous lover, of whom I love very much and His commitments to me are beyond my wildest dreams and I can’t wait to see Him, but until I do, I’d like to tell others about Him.
___________________________________________________________
What are my convictions that hold me? I might
share with you this story to help explain how some of my convictions pushed me to be on the
mission field (if you could call it a place, because it's not: mission
is not a place on a distant horizon, it's a condition of the heart).
I was young and leading my first short term mission trip to Port-Au-Prince, Haiti before the earth quake in 2010 and I was struck by the immense contrast of culture to our own. I experienced a massive dose of culture shock and loved it. In short I plunged into the honeymoon stage infatuated with the new culture and I asked tons of questions.
At one point during the trip we visited a hospital in Haiti like many short term trips do. We visited the back room which was called, "The Abandoned Children's Room" and we found some 20 children all in. I came to one little girls crib where she was rocking back and forth (self-stimulating, a habit many children adopt when there is no maternal presence that holds the child, "No one else will touch or rock me, so I'll do it myself"). She looked like she was probably 4 or 5 years old, but she was still in diapers. I thought that that was odd, so I turned and asked one of the nurses in the dilapidated building how old she was.
"She is 13 years old."
My jaw dropped and I stared at the nurse. I slowly turned back to the little girl and tried to reconcile what the nurse had just told me. This little girl in front of me, had not yet learned how to speak, she was still in diapers, in a cradle, doing nothing all day but self stimulating. I reached out to touch her on the arm trying to imagine how many times she'd ever been so much as touched. The moment my hand touched her arm she stopped rocking and stared at my hand as if it were as foreign to her as I was to Haiti.
We all walked away from the experience shocked. I would return to Haiti two more times following that experience.
On the third visit we came after the earthquake in 2010. We drove by the same hospital and it had collapsed. They said that everyone inside had died. That's where my conviction was born, because I realized that I had barely did anything for this little girl who was orphaned and unwanted, but I could have if I would have made the sacrifice. So I want to make sure that I do make the sacrifice for the lost, the dying, and the hurting, because ultimately they are worth it and Christ ultimately said, "Go and make Disciples."
___________________________________________________________
God how good it is to be a slave to the Most High, Almighty, Sacred Lover of my Soul, whose intentions are beyond worldly wisdom and who is good and loving and joyous because He is awe inspiring and good. God I love You. You have reconciled me amidst my sins and You have justified me knowing all that I would go on to do and all the hurt that would come out of this relationship and from this journey, knowing that it would exact a price that I myself would never be able to show to You in return. I am unable to return such goodness, to love You in such a good and wholesome way, though I wish I could now, my frame is small and my heart fickle and I am but a man. I wish to reciprocate this love You have shown to me, so here I am a living sacrifice, stepping off the "thrown" of my life, and I am seeking You; only because You first loved me. You offered me life in a world where You brought the dawn to shine through the darkness which I, the world, and Your enemy came together to create. You are altogether mighty and Good, God and I will never be the same because of the way that You have changed me. I love You and though my love is small and my worship smaller, it is here and now all Yours and it will always be that way, because I believe in Your ability to have and keep me here with You; not because of my strength, but because of Yours. I love You Daddy, oh Lover of my soul.
___________________________________________________________
Found this while I was digging and reflecting on some old journals.
The truth is widely known that God stretches our faith in the small things so that He can entrust us with the big things. These little things may seem like straws in weight, but the reality is that a hay bail can weigh too much for a man to lift or even move. And because of this principle, it’s amazing how many things can go wrong. It seems like there is a limitless list of problems and circumstances.
So let hopelessness keep it’s own hopeless self. Weigh the costs, move on with what you can do, so that what you cannot do won’t stop you. When it falls off of you and you can keep moving, keep advancing the line, nothing stops you. This does not mean that we do not give everything we’ve got by any means! There is a balance, but condemnation is never the answer.
This is so hard, in all honesty, and I really wish that I knew what in the world I am doing half the time. Slowing down would mean loosing the race though. Letting up would mean compromising. Maybe God calls us to run so fast so that when we loose control He takes over. Just this weekend I heard a message given instructing us that we are anointed beyond our capability. We are commissioned to do the impossible so as to allow God’s power to work through us in a greater way.
One of my favorite books right now is Have a Mind to Suffer by Watchman Nee. Oh my goodness! It’s phenomenal! He states very clearly that this is not a rejection of the Joy of the Lord, but this should strengthen our resolve to contain the joy of the Lord! He says that the mind to suffer is one that is tenaciously determined to overcome and to do the ministry of the Lord no matter what we face. “All who work the work of God should possess a mind to suffer...Do please understand that work cannot wait for you. Whether you have food or not, you nonetheless must work. Whether you are clothed or not you must nevertheless continue serving the Lord. When you are well, you work. When you feel uncomfortable you still work. You serve whether in health or in sickness, by this you shall find out whether you are armed with the mind to suffer or not. Yet this is an awesome weapon before which Satan is unquestionably bound. Otherwise when trial comes your work instantly ceases.”
___________________________________________________________
September 3, 2011
___________________________________________________________
John Eldredge speaks at length on this in Fathered by God and I highly highly suggest several of his books, but most of all this one.
We were talking in our Men’s Accountability Meeting last Monday night about a comment made a men’s retreat we attended back in May. Where many have said that the pinnacle of all relationships the speaker said this, “There is no deeper relationship in this universe than the relationship between Father and Son.” I’m sure that the speaker would have said the same between Mother and Daughter had this been at a women’s retreat.
I was talking to the guys and I actually admitted, “I don’t know if I agree with this, I mean what about a husband and a wife? But when you think about it, there has to be something divine about a Father and Son relationship because that is the name that Jesus gave us about His relationship with God the Father.” The divine actually chose to give us a picture of His relationship and it was that of a Father to a Son. We have to stop and think about that because there has to be something there that we really don’t understand. The Bible bases so much of the identity of the men off of who’s son they were: “David, the son of Jesse,” “Joshua son of Nun,” “Jesus, the son of God.” There is a depth here.
So we started to discuss why it was deeper than other relationships and this is what we found: a father can relate to his son more than any other person on Earth. Why? The very blood that runs through the veins of the son comes from the chromosomes of the father and biologically the son is more like his father than any other person on the planet. So there is a good chance that in the events of life the father and son will be able to relate to each other and in moments that validation is needed the father can validate no one else, because he has probably already been there and can affirm the son of a job well done.
This does not mean that sons will respond the same way that their fathers did, because unfortunately some sons have bad fathers. I do not believe that my dad or my mom were bad parents and for that I am very very thankful (thank you mom and dad), but if you did not have a good father, you can know that you are not your father, but you do have a Heavenly Father who knows you better than you know yourself and can affirm and validate you like no one else can.
From the divine perspective think of the depth of relationship Jesus has with God the Father. God the Father says, “I have a plan so that we can bring creation back into right standing with us (turns to His Son). Jesus will you die so that mankind will be brought back to us?” Jesus without hesitation, but probably through gritted teeth, says, “Yes.”
Can you turn to your son, brother, or friend and say, “Will you die so that I can get married?” No! Why? Because your relationship is not the divine relationship that God has with Himself, but He is trying to show us in a very tiny way what His relationship is like.
Then I went to Hebrew class for the week and we studied the word Elohim, the first name of God in the Bible. The root of that word is “El.” The two letters that make up this word are “Alef” and “Lamed.” “Alef” has an ancient Hebrew meaning: an ox head symbolizing authority and strength. “Lamed” also has an ancient Hebrew meaning: a shepherd’s prodding staff. When you put the two together it actually symbolizes an event where a farmer would yoke two different oxen together, specifically a new ox that was young and needy, untrained and weak, not knowing how to plow to an older ox that was strong and powerful, knowing exactly what to do. God the son is not the lesser ox, we are. God tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us, because He decided to be yoked to us and bring us through life through His power and His Fathering. He is our Daddy and He chooses to use life’s events to raise us up, healing broken places in our hearts.
I am not trying to take away from the mystery of marriage because that’s a whole other picture for us of what our relationship with Jesus is and that is absolutely glorious as well, but sometimes we really really need a Dad who is perfectly strong, perfectly knowledgable, perfectly approachable, and perfectly with us all the time.
___________________________________________________________
Everything in the Old Testament points toward the New Testament. The story of the Red Sea is all about Jesus!!! When you realize that the Jews had been slaves for 400 years, taking on the identity of slaves. Living like slaves, talking like slaves, eating what slaves eat, walking around hunkered over like slaves, and sleeping where slaves sleep. They believed they were slaves after 400 years of this, and the generation that was raised up in that moment had never known any different.
"But then God..."
You could stop there, but I want to unpack that statement because not everybody believes in the utter good character and beautiful determination of a perfect Lover. So here is what happened, He shows up in shock and awe. No one knew who the God of Israel was at that point and most certainly they didn’t know He had real power... Not even the slaves who claimed Him. So God brings the ten plagues and wipes the floor with each one of the Egyptians gods in descending order. He proves that all of Egypt's gods were beneath His feet (if even that). So we know that the Egyptians were shocked to have all their gods dethroned, but I'll wager that the slaves were gawking the whole time too. Why? Because they hadn't ever seen the shock and awe of an Amazing Lover like this before and they often grumbled to Moses in disbelief waiting for this God who they hardly knew to fail.
Then it crescendos with the culmination of the ten plagues and pharaoh concedes to let the slaves go free... But changes his mind. So he goes after the slaves and catches up to them on the shores of the Red Sea. Pharaoh has them cornered, and what are slaves going to do against the might of the most powerful army on the earth at that time? Sure the gods may have failed Pharaoh, but he was the god of gods to the Egyptians and now he had come to this ridiculous Lover who had conquered the lesser members of the divine court of Egypt and now Pharaoh had arrived. The god incarnate would now move mightily with politics, machines of war, and the strength of his own arm to shake heaven and earth to take back these insignificant slaves of his from a rogue invisible Romantic God who had somehow missed the memo to submit to the divine court of Egypt.
So now the real battle lines were drawn, Pharaoh versus the God of the Hebrews.
What was the outcome? The ridiculous rogue Lover came and made a way for His love to escape away with Him and what did He do to the pursuers? He put them to open shame for all the nations to hear of this ridiculous Lover and His love for His people. Why did He do all this? Exodus 29:45 says that He did so, so He could, “reside [or live with/dwell] among the Israelites, and (so He could) be their God.” Just so He could be with them.
When Christ came, He came with shock and awe as He did before, performing miracles, healing the sick, and wiping the floor with the traditional gods of His era. The gods of dead religion and piety. Christ came as the amazing Savior we all needed Him to be. Why did He come performing shock and awe? Because He is still that rogue Lover of man kind. He is the perfect Lover, but that’s another thought for another blog someday.
So He culminates all of His shock and awe to His beloved who were also slaves; slaves to sin, with one action. For we too were “once alienated from God…” living as utensils of destruction and deceit, not knowing right from wrong because we ourselves tried to define right and wrong. Eating from the same tree that our first father and mother ate: the knowledge of good and evil, or in other words we refuted rather than trusted the good character of God and tried to determine what was right and wrong for ourselves. The first sin. So we lived in our own way saying, “Hey what’s right for me is right for me and what’s right for you is right for you,” slaves to our undefined world with no absolutes to free us from a maddening scramble for meaning and purpose. We walked like slaves, ate like slaves, and lived like slaves to sin.
So the one action that culminated the Savior’s shock and awe was far beyond the Red Sea’s scope. God died for mankind.
God died.
God CHOSE TO DIE so that we might live.
And what does He do after His crescendo? He gives us a new identity. What did God do after the Red Sea? He gives all of Israel a new identity in the book of Exodus and Numbers. He tells them that they are warriors, priests, men and women set apart for His relationship with them. He numbers every single one of them! Why? BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM NEEDED TO KNOW THAT THEY WERE NOT A SLAVE ANY MORE.
This is what Christ has done with the slaves to sin, He has given us a new identity as sons and daughters, coheirs with Christ not only in is dying, but in the fact that we are more than conquerors with Christ.
___________________________________________________________
I was struck by a very profound statement as I sat in at GodFirst Church yesterday, "There are two kinds of creation in the Word of God. The first one cost God absolutely nothing. He spoke. The second cost God everything. He died to make us all new creations."
How incredible, how absolutely incredible that God as an amazing lover would throw in everything with us the moment He created us, though it didn't cost Him ANYTHING! He fell in love with us and dedicated Himself to us whole heartedly. Then sin enters the picture and He is faced with a decision. He could have scrapped all of creation and just simply spoke again to recreate everything, probably even better and more beautiful, but He didn't. It's like He went the completely opposite direction of His first action in that He made the determination that was over the top, out of the park, way beyond belief, because this time the cost was beyond ludicrous and completely extravagant: the death of God, the Son.
It's like the couple that falls head over heels in love with one another and hardly does anything for their relationship, but seriously coasts to marriage, then are confronted with the hardships of life and there is a rebirth that needs to take place. Each of them needs to become a new creation and it requires and exacts everything from them. They find a resolution that the Father found, “I love you when it’s easy, and I choose to sacrifice in order to be with you when it is beyond hard.” The couple goes from a euphoric honeymoon-esque love to “a love that is stronger than death,” because in it the “I” has to die and it gives rise to the most beautiful of pronouns, “us.” Through it the latter creation is so much more beautiful and wonderful than the first understanding that the second love is born from tears, self-sacrifice, and commitment to love the other no matter what.
Christ is amazing lover, a ridiculous lover, of whom I love very much and His commitments to me are beyond my wildest dreams and I can’t wait to see Him, but until I do, I’d like to tell others about Him.
___________________________________________________________
Just recently I was asked by my friend studying missions at university, "Why do you continue to stay on the mission field? Or whats your motivating factor?"
Here was my response:
I stay on the mission field because I don't hold my convictions, my
convictions hold me. Seasons change on the mission field often, and I'm
only a boy in many people's eyes, but I can see that. Sometimes we have
an amazing encounter with God, we love the adventure of it all, or God
gives us His heart for the people, but other times we go through the
valley of the shadow of death, we get sick of everything being backward
in a confusing culture, or the Lord says, "No I will not give you My
heart for these people," as He did with me. Seasons change, but your
convictions don't.
I once wrote this in regards to my experience in ESOAL but I think that helps paint the picture in a better light:
"I
believe that we have some kind of untamable calling, some great
ambition that the Lord specifically molded out of the same dirt and DNA
he molded us out of, and then He raised it, fed it, and watched it grow
while He raised us, and fed us, and watched us grow. Soon and very soon
we will meet this untamable beast that is worth giving our lives to, so
that it might grow into maturity and be accomplished. Whether it is
Preaching to the Auk-au indians in Ecuador as Jim Elliot did, reforming
the Catholic Church as Martin Luther did, or Appealing to Caesar as Paul
did, we are all called to turn the world upside down. To do this, we
must follow so closely to Christ that as He works in lives of others, we
do the same: loving one another."
I was young and leading my first short term mission trip to Port-Au-Prince, Haiti before the earth quake in 2010 and I was struck by the immense contrast of culture to our own. I experienced a massive dose of culture shock and loved it. In short I plunged into the honeymoon stage infatuated with the new culture and I asked tons of questions.
At one point during the trip we visited a hospital in Haiti like many short term trips do. We visited the back room which was called, "The Abandoned Children's Room" and we found some 20 children all in. I came to one little girls crib where she was rocking back and forth (self-stimulating, a habit many children adopt when there is no maternal presence that holds the child, "No one else will touch or rock me, so I'll do it myself"). She looked like she was probably 4 or 5 years old, but she was still in diapers. I thought that that was odd, so I turned and asked one of the nurses in the dilapidated building how old she was.
"She is 13 years old."
My jaw dropped and I stared at the nurse. I slowly turned back to the little girl and tried to reconcile what the nurse had just told me. This little girl in front of me, had not yet learned how to speak, she was still in diapers, in a cradle, doing nothing all day but self stimulating. I reached out to touch her on the arm trying to imagine how many times she'd ever been so much as touched. The moment my hand touched her arm she stopped rocking and stared at my hand as if it were as foreign to her as I was to Haiti.
We all walked away from the experience shocked. I would return to Haiti two more times following that experience.
On the third visit we came after the earthquake in 2010. We drove by the same hospital and it had collapsed. They said that everyone inside had died. That's where my conviction was born, because I realized that I had barely did anything for this little girl who was orphaned and unwanted, but I could have if I would have made the sacrifice. So I want to make sure that I do make the sacrifice for the lost, the dying, and the hurting, because ultimately they are worth it and Christ ultimately said, "Go and make Disciples."
___________________________________________________________
God how good it is to be a slave to the Most High, Almighty, Sacred Lover of my Soul, whose intentions are beyond worldly wisdom and who is good and loving and joyous because He is awe inspiring and good. God I love You. You have reconciled me amidst my sins and You have justified me knowing all that I would go on to do and all the hurt that would come out of this relationship and from this journey, knowing that it would exact a price that I myself would never be able to show to You in return. I am unable to return such goodness, to love You in such a good and wholesome way, though I wish I could now, my frame is small and my heart fickle and I am but a man. I wish to reciprocate this love You have shown to me, so here I am a living sacrifice, stepping off the "thrown" of my life, and I am seeking You; only because You first loved me. You offered me life in a world where You brought the dawn to shine through the darkness which I, the world, and Your enemy came together to create. You are altogether mighty and Good, God and I will never be the same because of the way that You have changed me. I love You and though my love is small and my worship smaller, it is here and now all Yours and it will always be that way, because I believe in Your ability to have and keep me here with You; not because of my strength, but because of Yours. I love You Daddy, oh Lover of my soul.
___________________________________________________________
Found this while I was digging and reflecting on some old journals.
The truth is widely known that God stretches our faith in the small things so that He can entrust us with the big things. These little things may seem like straws in weight, but the reality is that a hay bail can weigh too much for a man to lift or even move. And because of this principle, it’s amazing how many things can go wrong. It seems like there is a limitless list of problems and circumstances.
So let hopelessness keep it’s own hopeless self. Weigh the costs, move on with what you can do, so that what you cannot do won’t stop you. When it falls off of you and you can keep moving, keep advancing the line, nothing stops you. This does not mean that we do not give everything we’ve got by any means! There is a balance, but condemnation is never the answer.
This is so hard, in all honesty, and I really wish that I knew what in the world I am doing half the time. Slowing down would mean loosing the race though. Letting up would mean compromising. Maybe God calls us to run so fast so that when we loose control He takes over. Just this weekend I heard a message given instructing us that we are anointed beyond our capability. We are commissioned to do the impossible so as to allow God’s power to work through us in a greater way.
One of my favorite books right now is Have a Mind to Suffer by Watchman Nee. Oh my goodness! It’s phenomenal! He states very clearly that this is not a rejection of the Joy of the Lord, but this should strengthen our resolve to contain the joy of the Lord! He says that the mind to suffer is one that is tenaciously determined to overcome and to do the ministry of the Lord no matter what we face. “All who work the work of God should possess a mind to suffer...Do please understand that work cannot wait for you. Whether you have food or not, you nonetheless must work. Whether you are clothed or not you must nevertheless continue serving the Lord. When you are well, you work. When you feel uncomfortable you still work. You serve whether in health or in sickness, by this you shall find out whether you are armed with the mind to suffer or not. Yet this is an awesome weapon before which Satan is unquestionably bound. Otherwise when trial comes your work instantly ceases.”
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April 4, 2012
The woman at the well left the water pot at the well when she found the living water. She became the pot which would carry that living water, though... no especially, she was cracked and leaked such a living water on those around her. She was in search of water that she never got enough of. She left the water which would not continually satisfy. The water which would continually satisfy found her, though she was not looking for it, and was enough for her forever more.
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September 24, 2011
The woman at the well left the water pot at the well when she found the living water. She became the pot which would carry that living water, though... no especially, she was cracked and leaked such a living water on those around her. She was in search of water that she never got enough of. She left the water which would not continually satisfy. The water which would continually satisfy found her, though she was not looking for it, and was enough for her forever more.
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“Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. ‘He that will lose his life, the same shall save it,’ is not a piece of mysticism for saints and heroes. It is a piece of everyday advice for sailors or mountaineers. It might be printed in an Alpine guide or a drill book. The paradox is the whole principle of courage; even of quite earthly or quite brutal courage...” (G.K. Chesterton).
Courage is such a powerful thing. Courage is what allowed Joshua to take the promised land, but even he had to be instructed three times to do it with courage. Joshua 1 verses 6, 7, and 9 say, “Be strong and courageous for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them.Only be strong and very courageous being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commissioned you... Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD (YHWH) your God is with you wherever you go.” God even uses His name when He tells Joshua to be strong and courageous. He meant business about it.
This wasn’t the first time Joshua was commanded to “Be strong and courageous.” Deuteronomy 31 is where Moses commissions Joshua. In verse 6 he is first talking to all of Israel and in verse 7 he charges Joshua in front of all of Israel saying, “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD (YHWH) your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the sight of all Israel, “Be strong and courageous for you shall go with this people into the land that the LORD (YHWH) has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall put them in possession of it.” Then the Lord in verse 23 commissions him in front of the people saying, “Be strong and courageous.”
John Calvin wrote about His own cowardice and fear saying, “It appeared to me, that unless I opposed [the perpetrators] to the utmost of my ability, my silence could not be vindicated from the charge of cowardice and treachery.” John Calvin was recognizing the paralysis that came over Adam in Eden in his own life and needed to uproot it. 2 Timothy 3:1-9 describes the godlessness that will come in the last days and one of those characteristics is found in verse 5 saying, “having the appearance of godliness, but denying it’s power. Avoid such people.” This is cowardice. It seeks self-preservation rather than anything else, even at the detriment to their relationship with God.
“He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it. A soldier surrounded by enemies, if he is to cut his way out, needs to combine a strong desire for living with a strange carelessness about dying. He must not merely cling to live, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape. He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape. He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine.”
When I was a Team Leader on the trip to South Africa in 2010 there was a man that came to our team in a wheelchair asking for prayer to be healed and we prayed for his healing, but nothing happened. So we pressed in harder hoping that the Lord’s power might be seen, but still nothing. We still continued determined, but nothing and as we we were diligent nothing happened. The man went away, still seated in his wheelchair. It wasn’t just me who was praying for him, but there were probably 10 or more others, all eager to see the movement of God. I remember getting back to campus and wanting nothing more than to crawl up into my sleeping bag and hiding. I felt defeated, discouraged, and even foolish. Our Project Directors addressed the whole project because it made such a stir and it didn’t help me at all. All I wanted to do in all honesty was to pack my bags and head home, but I remember a very specific moment walking toward dinner where I realized that I determined a great deal of how my team would respond to that discouragement. I didn’t have the luxury to throw in the towel on the whole trip and on my team. I got my heart back into and we finished the trip, it wasn’t Disneyland, but the Lord used it to pull me back here for two more years.
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September 24, 2011
ESOAL RECAP
Second Thought
I found this when I was going through my old journals and fragments of thoughts, it's in honor of ESOAL one year ago!
During ESOAL I found that Leaders can carry a burden or they can put their burden on those who follow them, but either way there is a burden of leadership. The burden, as it concerns to the Leader, seems like a grain of sand, but to those who follow, this burden becomes an unbearable weight. All that is required of the leader is to give their all. To do exactly what it is that they were designed to do. To give until there is nothing left in the “Reserve Tank.” Romans 12:1 says, “Therefore, I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifices, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.” This may seem like an unreasonable requirement, but when it is surveyed, this is what should be expected in every situation. During ESOAL we had a phrase that described this very well: “Perfection is our lowest standard...” or “Perfection is our lowest expectation...” This may be a hard stone to stand upon, but even the Lord commanded us, “Therefore be holy, as I am Holy.”
In a skit, done with excellence, called “God Chisel” by the usually comedic group called The Skit Guys, they portray our interaction with God as He sharpens us. At one point the creation turns to the creator and blurts out, “I can’t be good!” The Creator stops and in a moment of pure Fatherly love, softly redefines the Creation’s identity for him. “You can’t be good? ... I created you good... Be good.” He pauses for a minute and simply says, “You really think you’re junk, don’t you? I don’t make junk.” the Creation turns and says, “I just feel like I’m letting you down.” Instantly the Creator corrects the creation with, “No, you were never holding me up. I hold you up with my righteous right hand.”
We are not doing this out of our own strength, but out of the power and strength of the Father. One of the very names of God is “Jehovah Tsidknuh.” To break this name down, we need to look at Jehovah first. this name for God actually points directly to the name, “I AM.” Jehovah means “be,” or “to be,” but it far surpasses the simple meaning of existing, but actually denotes “the desire to be known as!” It presents us with a God who reveals Himself... UNCEASINGLY! Then we come to the name “Tsidknuh.” This name means “to be stiff” or “Straight.” It is delineating “Righteousness!” But when you put the two together you are not simply left with a “God who is righteous,” but “God Who is our Righteousness!” He is lifting us up with His Righteous right hand, because He is our Righteousness. “So that no one may boast.” “We are more than conquerors [Indeed].”
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"Those who gave their lives in persecution, and they alone, came to be called 'martyrs' ('witnesses'); those who gave their confession but for some reason were not killed were called 'confessors.' The martyrs were not only witnesses in the sense of confessing their faith, but were also eyewitnesses, for they often received a vision of Christ" (Amanda Fraser’s Church History book).
There’s something different about those who have died a martyr’s death. When we recount their stories and go through their journals because of their testimonies and the sacrifice our perspective must change. In the context of their sufferings their vernacular seems to elevate to a new meaning. It is almost as though, because of the acute proximity of the martyr to the very gates of Heaven, Heaven extends a hand to raise the understanding of the martyr and give back the real meaning of words. Everything said is a strategically placed message from the throne room of God because that’s where the martyrs spent their time and testified to their exposure to it.
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August 20, 2011
Paul openly admitted, “That which I don’t want to do I am always doing, that which I want to do I am never doing. Oh wretched man that I am! Who will free me from this body of death (Paraphrase from Romans)?” When Paul said, “Oh wretched man that I am!” He was actually delineating his own state as that of a “wretch” which was the name given to those being executed for the crime of being a pedophile! Those who were convicted of being a pedophile would be sentenced to the wretches death. They would take the body of the victim and fastened it to the convicted: wrist to wrist and ankle to ankle. These are the most absorbent places of the body. Slowly the convict’s body would meld with the victims body and as the body would fester and rot the toxins from the victim would pass to the convicted and this is how the convicted would die. Paul was using this as an image to show us how helpless we are to sin.
Jeremiah tells us that the heart is deceitfully wicked above all things. Ravi Zacharias declared, “There is something sinister in the heart of man, almost demonic within the very heart of man!” This presents us with an absolute and total need for a Savior. Without the direct and total intervention of a Savior we would die a terrible death, the greatest among all of Shakespeare’s tragedies.
Ravi follows up to his earlier comment in another message by saying, “The biggest difference between Jesus Christ and ethical and moral teachers who have been deified by man, is that these moralists came to make bad people good; Jesus came to make dead people live. Man is not just not just unethical, he is lost and dead. If man is only lost in guilt, then what I’ve given to you is bad news, but he is lost in sin and our great privilege is to tell he has a Savior!” We are absolutely in need of a Savior, even from ourselves. This is where one of the Greek words for “Grace” comes to bring us hope. It also means a filling of God’s Character. This not only presents us with a hope for salvation in the after life, but freely gives us a gift of salvation from the character of own our heart.
Having said all that we can see that none of the good and wholesome character in ourselves is really ours. Christ comes and fills us with His good character out of His benevolent grace. He tells us to “Get up and walk.”
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June 10, 2011
One of the most tangible example of forgiveness that I have found is here in South Africa. After Apartheid ended there were a series of trials known as the Truth and Reconciliation trials over the brutality administered during Apartheid. These trials offered amnesty to those who would give full disclosure to their acts of brutality. There is a movie about them called Red Dust which walks through the case of Dirk Hendricks, Alex Mpondo, and what happened to Steve Sizela. Hilary Swank actually plays, Sarah, the lawyer who conducts the trials.
Everyone in the movie has one question to answer for themselves and those around them. “Will I forgive?” Sarah has to find the strength to forgive a hating culture who arrested her and ostracized her family for loving a black man. Alex has to come to grips with Dirk for the brutal torture he inflicted on him. The Sizela parents have to find forgiveness for Alex’ action to sell out Steve. All of them are tied together in guilt, shame, hatred, and un-forgiveness. the movie climaxes with finding Steve’s body and once the whole truth is found, forgiveness is found.
The African people gathered around Alex as he went to seek forgiveness from Steve’s death and the room is silent as he openly says, “All I can do is beg for your forgiveness.” Steve’s mother calls Alex by Steve’s name, saying, “Come here my child.” The African people all chime in saying, “Forgiveness is powerful.” But the father sits struggling wrestling with his own un-forgiveness in silence. Finally as Alex goes to the door, Mr. Sizetela says, “Hey boy.” and Alex turns and Mr. Sizetela gives him a small smile and a nod releasing Alex from his shame and freeing Mr. Sizetela from his resentment.
The following scene, Alex and Sarah meet up for the last time. Sarah says to Alex, “I always felt that what happened to me was such a small thing compared to what happened to you, but...” And as she looses words to describe her pain, Alex says, “You think I don’t know that? ... We have the right to say that it hurt.” And in that one single statement Alex Mpondo gave the acknowledgment to Sarah that injustice was committed against her, even though it was so seemingly small compared to the injustice committed against himself. She had tried to suppress her own sorrow over it, telling herself that the wound that was inflicted upon her heart was illegitimate because of all the pain of those around her. This is where those wounds begin to fester and cannot heal.
We cannot simply deny the fact that something wrong had been done against us. If we try to bury these wounds they will only get worse. A friend of mine who is a missionary in Lebotse, Botswana told me this when she was describing the way that she coped with her parent’s rejection of her marriage, “I move on, not to deny the pain that happened, but I will not pitch a tent there in the pain and allow that pain to destroy me.”
No we have to deal with the pain yes, but we do not have to wallow in it. The movie ends with the final words, “Having looked the beast in the eye, having asked and received forgiveness let us shut the door on the past, not to forget it, but to allow it not to imprison us.” - Archbishop Tutu.
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11.17.10
Wow, God is incredible.
The Day I left for Billings, Montana I was able to have a meeting with Derek Clay who I hold in very high regards as a man who has been a firefighter, navy seal, and a father. We went for a run and talked about masculinity and several of the books that John Eldridge wrote enthralled with it. In John’s books he refers to a trip spent in Alaska sea kayaking where he found the Chichagof Island and went in search of Grizzly tracks where there were paw prints that were so incredibly worn in a particular track that they resembled cobblestones. This is because the bears walked the same tracks every day from generation to generation. He proposes that this is the way that masculinity must be passed on. Allowing the boys to watch and become men. Our conversation was amazing and most enjoyable. We talked at great length about the navy seals and my decision for South Africa.
Later that day Mr. Hasz pulled the Januaries aside and role played my conversations with my parents, but in the midst of the mock-argument, a challenge was presented to me. It was this, “You are 20 years old, and yet you are still under your parents house. Isn’t it time to move out?” At the time I was secure enough to make sure that I remained composed, because the truth be told my first inclination was to feel humiliated, but when I refused and kept my heart open I was challenged by it and am still challenged by it even now in South Africa.
Then still later I became the “Keep-wake” for Mr. John Wayne or J.W. He was a seasoned marine, police officer, and father himself. We didn’t really talk and we weren’t really arguing, it was more like a legal trial and he tore me apart. We started talking about the military and he quickly confronted me letting me know that I consistently tried to sound like I knew what I was talking about, when in fact I did not and I simply needed to admit that. Soon my readily available answer was, “I do not know.” After the first correction he challenged me on my relationship with my parents (not having known that I had been questioning whether or not I should go to South Africa and am currently reading The Way of the Wild Heart in the section on boy’s relationships with their parents). I went to bed with the Fear of the Lord and with more humility.
The next day I have had the privilege to enjoy reading further into Epic by John Eldridge and continued into The Way of the Wild Heart while the two books relate to correlating books such as The Fourth Turning, and The Making of a Leader. These four books make a potent combination during this time in life where I am making a crucial decision for the next year of my life. The Fourth Turning and Epic have stressed being aware of the signs of the times. The Fourth Turning, The Making of a Leader, and The Way of the Wild Heart all lay out several different archetypes of different stages in our lives. At that time they were blowing my mind! I suppose they still do to this day.
I had a stunning conversation with “Kirk,” a great man of God currently on the Ministry Team of Teen Mania, about the Mighty Men of David and what it would look like to live as they did in light of the Great Commission instead of the Cultural Mandate. It was a grand conversation about Martyrs: The Moravians, the Thundering Legion, the Student Volunteer Movement, etc.
After that amazing conversation I turned to my next and most recent conversation with Mr. J.W. I was appreciative of the crash course in humility, but this time I did most of the listening. We still talked about parents and honoring them, but doing so in such a way that refuses to compromise on any grounds when it comes to God’s call. He gave examples from his own life and he still grounded the entire conversation on testimony and he was speaking so directly to the things that I had just been going through with wise counsel over the decision with my parents and the fear of their rejection and how fears lead us to be deceived! Which resounded in my world because they are currently my two greatest fears! I am terrified of rejection and I am terrified that I will be deceived so as to concoct a lie that I will want to believe because it seems easier to face than actual truth itself.
So many things culminated that night as I officially ended a time of fasting - praying and worshipping and making decisions and realizing God has been pursuing me this entire time to reveal to me that I am His beloved son! Even on a bus ride from Garden Valley, TX to Billings, MT.
I love you God! Please have your way in my life!
I thank the Lord that today my parents are supporting my decision and their love for me is so evident as they support me even when they might have wanted me to make a different decision. Thank you mom and dad!
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Deuteronomy 29:14-15 - “It is not with you alone that I am making this sworn covenant, but with whoever is standing here with us today before the LORD our God, and with whoever is NOT here with us today.”
This is a revealing of the character of God. God is a God of witnesses and testifying before many and making His will known to many people. He desires to let people know His will.
Proverbs 25:2, “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search a matter out is the glory of kings.” Is searching out the concealed matter the glory of kings because of their status and the duty there of? Or is searching out the matter concealed by God what makes peasants into kings? Making ordinary individuals into extraordinary people?
Deuteronomy 29:29, “The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.”
Is there a perfect and pleasing will that we must test and approve for our lives or is that the Law, that we must come to in decisions within the matter of moral decisions? Is it both? Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Regardless of whether or not I will finish the Holy Ghost Brainstorm or not I am here to be with You, Oh God. My purpose is to find You out and to receive from you what You have for me. So here I am.
I prayed that the Lord might forgive me, for getting my thoughts in order here on paper, and in the correct folders... God replied: “I am just as much a God of order as you are a melancholy, in fact I am far more. Consider the length that the Earth is in it’s orbit to the sun or the degree in which the earth spins on it’s wobbling axis. So shhhh!”
Deuteronomy 29:18b-19, “Beware lest there be among you a root bearing poisonous and bitter fruit, one who, when he hears the words of this sworn covenant, blesses himself in his heart, saying, ‘I shall be safe, though I walk in the stubbornness of my heart.’ This will lead to the sweeping away of moist and dry alike.”
Let no one be consumed by bitterness or both those who receive rain and those who live in the desert will be destroyed regardless. God is coming back for the Bride, the Church, the collective body of Christ. So toleration of sin in the body of sin is not ok. He desires for us to be in communion with Him and to be fulfilled in our character because of a changed heart with Him. Grace is what has saved us, but how can we go on claiming grace as the apostle Paul talked about and still living in sin? Romans 6:1-3, “1 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?” As one, let us throw off the tyranny of the flesh.
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The Road
Along the road falls rut and stone,
Where ample men have trampled lone.
Where pride has died
And rank in stride.
Along the Road is found sweet Joy,
Through rapt’ous ‘ship it did employ.
Through hardship and toil,
False character, it did foil.
Pitter patter, went the beautiful feet that tread the road.
And an inexpressible joy did follow the seeds they sowed.
At first glance, the road’s result was death,
But truly truly it is where true life is met.
So here on the road, the message is strewn wide,
Because my savior laid down His life for yours and for mine.
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I am lost! Papa, I am lost!
I am lost in my own mind,
My heart has run off to,
And now, he, I cannot find.
Oh, how I hope he is with You.
I am lost! Papa, I am lost!
I am lost but ‘ere my heart comes back, all-a-new.
I asked him how! How it had came to be so.
He said, “I have found the one God speaks of who!”
“Away from here, away from here, away we must go!”
I was lost! Papa, I was lost!
I was led away from the snare my mind had found
And when I followed my heart who was now true,
I was no longer lost or trapped all ‘round,
But I came all-a-new, because he brought me back to You.
And now I cry I’m Found! Papa JOY! I’m found!
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Food for thought from my journal: “The love of God may actually become an obstruction to us because we misunderstand, then misconstrue, and ultimately misinterpret that love to allow for our our self promotion through comfort, rather than being overpowered, overcome, and overwhelmed out of mundane small focuses to join the ranks of those that suffer the cross, whether that cross be of seemingly small origins or not.”
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The first intern class was painting Impact Africa’s new offices here in Joeburg with one of our African Staff Members who is actually from Zimbabwe. His name is Mutze and his name means Mercy. Mutze does quite a bit of work with his hands, working with tiling, concrete, and so on. So I asked him, “how do you know how to do all these things?”
He answered me saying, “Poverty will teach somebody.”
Since being here, well actually, since before getting to Africa someone told me that the journey I was about to embark on reminded them quite a bit of Job and his story and since being here every church service and several of our team devotions we have had either quoted from Job or were directly on trials and tribulation. One church here is actually doing an entire series on the book of Job. So needless to say one of the books I’m going through for my devotions is Job. I even picked a random sermon to listen to from one of my favorite teachers named Ray Vanderlaan and the message was about the Deserts of life and knowing that it is in those deserts that we see God face to face.
In Joshua chapter 1, the Lord is speaking to Joshua and in three different verses God tells Joshua to be, “Strong and Courageous.” Joshua 1:9 is the most popular which says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” This is the last command, the other two are found in Joshua 1:6 and 7. Now when God commands three different times to be courageous, you know whatever you face will be difficult because whatever is commanded or declared in faith will be tested. 1 Corinthians 3:12-13 says, “Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw - each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done.”
The majority of these messages have come together to say one thing really. “The Lord loves His children too much to let them become content with where they are at.” The books of Ezekiel, Hosea, Micah (great name!), Job, Isaiah, Jeremiah and several others all show how willing God is to rescue us from the idols we are worshipping at by utterly destroying them.
Regardless of where we are at in life we can be put in a position where we are rescued by trial and tribulation, our character is revealed and we can repent or our character is revealed and we glorify the Father all the more because of it, or we come face to face with God. “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,” James 1:2 and the rest of that section is so incredibly beautiful!
I really don’t know what this year will hold in store for us, but whatever it is, if there are trials and tribulations and tests of our devotion, then bless the Lord! Our declarations of faith are being proven, character is being brought into light, and the Lord is relentlessly saving us from ourselves and bringing us away to the desert that we might know Him in a new and beautiful way.
“Poverty will teach somebody.” I think Mutze was right, but I would say it a little bit differently. If our hearts are willing, in poverty, in loneliness, in trials, the Lord will teach somebody.
We've been studying a little bit on Nelson Mendela's life as he made such a huge impact on South Africa and there was a quote in the movie invictus from his time spent in prison that said, “I am the captain of my soul.” It was in prison that Nelson Mendala was gained so much patience and depth of practicing forgiveness. At the Apartheid Museum in Johannesburg, there is an exhibit dedicated to him and one text that said, "Nelson entered prison an angry, restless rebel, but he exited prison a patient, loving revolutionary." His perspective on the trials were correct and it is in that same posture we have to approach difficulties.
The medical field has a term called “Epigenetic” which actually means above genes. It is the term used to describe the power of belief against sicknesses. It basically states that your genes respond to the posture of your perspective. “So a man thinks, so he is.”
In Revelation 16:3-7 is right in the middle of the wrath of God and His actions of the bowls being poured out on the Earth. The second angel and the third angels pour out their bowls on the rivers, streams, lakes, ponds, seas, and oceans and all the water in the world turns to blood. Then the scriptures say something very interesting in verse 5, “And I heard the angel of the waters saying, ‘Righteous are You, who are and who were, O Holy One, because You judged these things; for they poured out the blood of saints and prophets, and You have given them blood to drink. They deserve it.’” How interesting. “the angel of the waters,” in other version it says that it is the angel “in charge of” or “responsible for the waters.” That would mean that all of the livelihood of this angel, all of his identity, all of his sense of accomplishment and purpose for existing at this point is in water. So when God uses it to punish mankind by turning all of it to blood, He in effect took all of the livelihood of this angel and said, “your livelihood will serve a better purpose by being destroyed.” AND THE RESPONSE OF THE ANGEL IS, “Righteous are You!” His perspective was not on Himself. He was not concerned with his own self accomplishments or advancement of his responsibilities.
In Luke 1:18-19 Gabriel is asked by Zacharias when he is promised to be the father of John the Baptist, “How will I know this for certain?” and Gabriel answered him, “I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news.” I imagine that Gabriel looks at Zacharias and says this with almost a shock that Zacharias asks the question. “Don’t you see how powerful God is?” “I stand in the presence of God.” “I view Him” “I take Him in, in all of His glory.” The angel’s perspective was conformed to that of the perspective that views God first, not the problem. There is a proverb that I heard here in Diepsloot first that says, “I refuse to tell my god how big my problems are. No, instead I will go and tell my problems how big my God is.”
That is the perspective that I want. I want to stand in the deserts, I want to stand in the jungles, I want to stand face to face with God regardless of my situations so that my situations may be elevated to their true meaning instead of being wrapped around my small little world. Reading the stories of the martyrs really reminds me of this. Their language was so elevated. Not from the sense that their vernacular was massive, but it was as if in light of their current circumstances their words reached their full potential, had their maximum impact and even gripped their circumstances so that all it could do is glorify God. They are quite magnificent.
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Modern Day Monks
During my internship at Teen Mania I stepped back to examine my lifestyle at the Honor Academy and I was reminded of something, but I could not put my finger on it. I observed the regiment that that the Honor Academy had in place and even the difference between my life before and now in the Honor Academy and still I did not realize what I was reminded of by life there. In our Mission's class there I was given an assignment to study the Morovian Church. As I studied the Post Reformation World and the Morovians I finally realized that the lifestyle of the Honor Academy reminded me quite a bit of the life style of Monks. Not requiring extravagance in material items, extremely busy, packed full, and absolutely Kingdom oriented.
I will say that this mindset was building off of the foundations that my mother and father gave me: emphasized in responsibility and a will to accomplish tasks in spite of discomfort, but at the internship I was stretched even more with higher expectations. We were continually reminded to manage our time well, and to do it efficiently. Because of this I have come to realize how fast an hour can go by. At one point earlier this year I was managing my time down to every 5 to 10 minutes. I am not saying this to boast in all that I am accomplishing, but rather that I am astonished how little I am able to do.
I am so thankful for what the stretching and laboring was able to teach me! I gained so much more of a capacity to manage my time, chisel out my quiet times, and work towards a greater purpose!
Several of my friends have been going to other internships as well and they recount similar stories and events that taught so much inside of a close fellowship of believers dedicated to the cause of Christ! It is a beautiful thing, however it is very hard work, and it is for the purpose of maintaining a ministry. Because of that I think when you compare interns to the monks of the ancient world, we can see so many similarities and it almost looks like interns of today are the Modern Day Monks! We certainly hold some dear truths that they may not have held, but we have both dedicated our lives to so much more than our own personally gain! I am proud to say that I was and am still going to be an intern in this season of my life!
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ESOAL RECAP
“You are about to go through the most intense training that we know of in the body of Christ...” (Heath Stoner paraphrased from Dave Hasz 09.16.10). The Emotionally Stretching Opportunity of a Lifetime (ESOAL) has been my favorite Life Transforming Event I have experienced at the Honor Academy. The event was highly specified to challenge, establish, and solidify precepts in each individual’s life. I achieved my goal. I finished ESOAL.
“I beat my body and make it my slave, lest when I preach the Gospel I, myself, might not be disqualified from the prize” 1 Corinthians 9:27. I believe ESOAL taught me that my biggest enemy is self. Succumbing to self idolization leads to self centeredness then ultimately to self pity which consumes everything for the sake of filling a void, or runs from painful situations, and justifies cowardice. In the movie the Guardian there was a story of a rescue of what was left of a family, but only the father was left alive. When the rescuers reached him he was clinging to his wife. In the dire circumstances, instead of protecting his wife, he had actually held her under the water in an attempt to try to stay afloat himself reverting to his most basic instincts to survive. When we yield to self, in times of extreme difficulty it will always steer us to become the victims of our own circumstances. In this form of extreme treachery we become helpless and will always destroy ourselves and those around us. As soldiers in Christ we must never surrender ground to self. This enemy is sly, treacherous, and nearly invisible. It is closer than any enemy could ever get and knows us better than any enemy ever will. We must put self to death, our desire to please self to death, or the results might very well be much to heavy for us to bear.
Instead of succumbing to self, we must surrender everything for the cause of Christ: LOVE. Love will sacrifice everything for others (removing the claim of self idolization), empower joy (to kill self pity), and in the end will starve self to death. This sentencing of starvation may conflict slightly with the principle in Dr. Tim Elmore’s book Habitudes in the chapter titled the Starving Baker. This chapter presented an idea that we need to meet our needs so that we can meet the needs of others, but my challenge is a call for us to give so much more than what we are already giving, because we are fully capable of giving so much more. William Wilberforce (the man who abolished slavery in England) gave his life so singularly to an idea that God burdened on his heart and pushed so vigorously that he would have dreams about the dying black slaves. Soon he couldn’t sleep because of it, but even then he was so permeated by his need to free the slaves that his subconscious would cause hallucinations of the suffering slaves while he was awake! In the end he suffered in his health, but he got it done! He finished what he was called to do. I believe that we have some kind of untamable calling, some great ambition that the Lord specifically molded out of the same dirt and DNA he molded us out of, and then He raised it, fed it, and watched it grow while He raised us, and fed us, and watched us grow. Soon and very soon we will meet this untamable beast that is worth giving our lives to, so that it might grow into maturity and be accomplished. Whether it is Preaching to the Auk-au indians in Ecuador as Jim Elliot did, reforming the Catholic Church as Martin Luther did, or Appealing to Caesar as Paul did, we are all called to turn the world upside down. To do this, we must follow so closely to Christ that as He works in lives of others, we do the same: loving one another.
ESOAL, the Emotionally Stretching Opportunity of a Lifetime was a phenomenal experience that caused me to live in such a way that I became more of the man that I desire to be each day, because it challenged me to love others more than myself.
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Training and Discipleship
There was a story once of 2 lumberjacks who made a bet of who would cut down the most trees in one day. The first started out immediately, swinging his axe hard and he felled many trees, however the second sat down and began to sharpen his blade for several hours. When the second lumberjack finally started he was extremely far behind, but by lunch time he had already caught up and the first lumberjack was exhausted and his blade was dull. By the end of the day the second lumberjack had made little progress and the second lumberjack won the bet with ease.
Now Jesus took 30 years to prepare to be in ministry for 3 years of ministry. This is a ratio of 10 to 1. In those three years Christ healed the sick, preached the good news of the Kingdom, and launched the most influential movement the world has ever known. In three short years Jesus accomplished His climax of His redemptive story and equipped his children to get others to join the Kingdom!
10 to 1. Being trained is so very important, because without it how can we ever hope to be effective?
It was said of King David's men that they could shoot their bows both right and left handed. Beniah stalked a lion into a pit on a snowy day and killed it.
We had a pastor come to the Honor Academy from Kenya who has killed a lion before and he described the training that he went through to kill the lion. and it was vigorous. Endless hours of training his hands simply to hold a spear correctly and to switch hands with a small spike. He would trade off the spear and small spike hour after hour in a mind numbing motion. He would hold the spear in his left hand so that when the lion jumped it would leap at his left hand and while the lion was in mid air he would switch the spike and the spear. When the lion landed with its mouth open ready to devour the man he would force the spike directly into the lions mouth so that it could not clamp down on his hand. The lion would be helpless. The man would simply need to steer clear of the cats claws now and use his spear to kill the vulnerable lion.
Only by God's grace can we succeed, but what we have been entrusted with, during this time on the earth we are called to steward. Whether that be talent, gift, burden or passion, we need to be diligent and active.
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Fight Night:
Our struggle is in our mind, because we see the fight against impossible opponents that we cannot defeat.
At the beginning of this year I participated in a boxing match at a local Church called "Guts" church. I weigh 150 lbs, and I fought a man who weighed 185 and I took it to him. I was in control of the fight through the whole match. When the announcer's voice thundered over the megaphone how much my opponent weighed and his athletic background my cornermen were the ones who turned to me and said, "How much did he say he weighed?" "That can't be right! This is the wrong fight!"
I am proud to say that I charged out onto the walk way while they were still mid sentence with the full heart of a man! Fearless.
However, now facing the heavy weights of life I realize no amount of preparation can prepare me for the match. I don't have the means to defeat or overcome the money issues presented to me, the struggles of my life, the immensities of the world's problems in abortion, injustices, and poverty.
These things stand in front of me with a continual declaration, "You better go home little boy, this is not the right fight for you! You picked the wrong opponents to fight with today!" They ridicule right before the fight begins.
The bell rings and round begins, we get smacked right accross the jaw first thing and nocked around the ring, even falling several times, but it's determination that leads us to a realization, each blow is the worst that this opponent has. They are only measured by their determination to break you. When we face that it gives us a count down in our mind of when their determination will break. We wait and wait and hold out realizing, they have only the power over us that we allow them to have. This heavyweight is followed by his heavyweight ego, the determining factor of the whole match. This is the real fight that is behind the material and the major determining factor of the fight.
Two mysterious things happen then, we turn to evaluate ourselves and the status of what we are capable of and we have a few options to look at. There are two typical options. Either we see our material limitations and capabilities or we see the measure of our determination.
I propose one other determining factor that revolutionizes the fight - Micah 4:11-5:4.
Remember, we are but living sacrifices, slaves of righteousness doing the will of the Good Master, embassadors of the King, and the shadow of the nimble fighter. A reflection of the Awesome Being we are in the presence of when we follow Him, that is what we are. So when we hear from Him where to go, we turn our attention to that place and arrange the meeting between His character in us, His presence that we are carriers of and we arrange the meeting, the fight. We declare war on His behalf and get to watch.
What I'm trying to say is this: "Pray like it's all God, work like it's all you!" One of the over used, under applied phrase of the Christian faith. All of our efforts are merely openning the doors of the event hall, setting up the event, and watching the results of God's work. To put it in the words of my friend Joshua Gregory (an up and coming military leader and strategist in ROTC training), "My job is not to be the judge or destroyer or even the real opponent of those who vehemently hate me and try to carry out evil on this earth. God is what they are really fighting against, my job is simply to arrange the meeting." This is our privelege! God calls us on this spontaneous adventure out of our minutely planned lives into romantic get-aways!
In JESUS FREAKS Martyrs, which I highly recommend reading, there is a particular story of a woman who is sent to prison for the name of Jesus Christ for 5 years. When she was finally released, someone asked her how her time was in prison she answered so humbly and plainly saying, "Romantic." I want to have that mentallity! Jeremiah 29:11, my baby sister's favorite verse! Is a compelling argument to to Romans 8:28's cry! "All things work together for the good of those who LOVE God!" because He has given the promise saying, "I have plans for you! Good plans to give you a hope and a future!" in the King James Version it says it like this, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." the rest of the context points to captivity. God wants to give our lives meaning and reality! He is so passionately and romantically after us, in the same way that a lover would surprise his love and rescue her out of her regular everyday monotonous work, so God does to give us so much more!
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Canis is Latin for Dog
In my best friend’s, Brandon’s, small homely kitchen, we sat and talked in loud conversation and riotous laughter almost in spite of the late hour. Brandon, now a young man closing in on his twenties with five o’clock shadow and classy, but urban clothing, was catching me up on the past several months of his life. He was attending a focussed internship that was meant to hone his lifestyle with Christ. As we chattered on about experiences I grew more and more interested and hungry for experiences of my own with God. We finally landed on the newest development of Brandon’s adventures. He described his dive into a pool that symbolized going deeper with his relationship with God.
I remember driving home that calm, snowy night and went to bed, almost disappointed in the midst of my circumstances.
Dim light hit my eyes, as they opened the next morning, with a singular color: white. Outside my window the clouds were lolling about, which kept all the colors from bursting through. All their contents of snow and rain hung distilled in the air over our property that bolstered a small farm raising pigs, goats, horses, and an assortment of birds, but above all else: dogs. Because of this, our barn (which we call the “shop”) was also converted into a fully functioning dog kennel.
I slipped quickly into my clothes before the rest of the family was up and stepped outside into the crisp air. My thoughts trickled from subject to subject as they usually do, analyzing areas of my life and bringing them to God. I was heading north from our house and was coming to one conclusion from my walk with God. I was unhappy with where I was. I was thirsty for more of God. Not because of my lack of time with Him, but because of the dryness of the time I had with Him. I knew what was in my head, as it seeped out in my prayers. My intention was simple, I wanted to jump into our pond in the hopes that I might somehow receive a moment with God much in the same way that Brandon had explained to me his own experience. However naive this was I was still determined to do it.
As I approached the rim of the deep basin that held our pond I saw that it was frozen over. I was speechless. Our pond had somewhat of an odd shape with a single island at the southeast side and four different dikes that jutted out into the heart of the pond. I quickly covered the distance to the edge of the frozen pond on the northeast dike and stood in silence. I looked down at the stagnant, stationary water and looked back up to the sky. “This is exactly the way I feel,” I paused for a moment, “Stagnant and stationary.” I looked around again observing the scenery almost covered in a sheet of gray color. There was a old nest near by that had been long abandoned and a canoe that was left out of the water because of the winter months.
I backed up and sprinted at the end of the dike. Before I knew it, I was hurling through the air above the frozen ice. My arms were thrown back, my feet were cocked behind me, my heart was propelling me forward. As I flew over the ice I was so expectant. I expected God to show up, I expected my life to be touched, and I expected to break through the ice.
Unfortunately my expectations were fulfilled.
I shattered the ice and landed in the cold water beneath it. The momentum from the jump pushed me into the opposite side of the circular hole I had just created with my body. When I slammed into the jagged edge of the parameter my chin came down on the hard ice with a smack. My limbs responded, letting me know promptly that I was in frigid water and I needed to get out of it. I floundered to the edge of the ice and struggled to get out of the water and scrambled over the ice then back up the bank heading straight for the house. I was soaking wet and shivering all over. Parts of my body that had hit the ice, such as my chin and stomach, were in stinging pain. My soaked clothing stuck to my skin and sucked all of the warmth out of me. When I reached my house my skin was white and my lips were purple, probably frozen. I quickly disregarded my clothes, grabbed a towel, and headed for the shower.
When I got the shower going with nice hot water, mist rolled over the top of the shower curtain and I rubbed the mirror clear to see my reflection. I found that my stomach and arms were scraped up and red, but the first thing I noticed was my chin. When the towel pulled away from the mirror as it had pulled away from my face, there was blood on it. I saw in the mirror a sharp deep gash on my lower chin. My first shock was that I was bleeding, but that was quickly replaced when I realized what had happened.
Growing up on a dog kennel I was taught to read a dog’s body language so that I could take care of a dog, or a group of dogs at any given time. One of the things I learned was that when a dog shows affection, particularly at a younger age, it will gently bite or nibble on the lower jaw.
There was not a mistake or any kind of coincidence. God took a moment of expectancy, that I had for Him to show up and touch my life, and used it to speak to me in my circumstances and in my language. His message was simple.
“I love you.”
